Navigating Co-Parenting After Divorce
On this week's podcast I am joined by the hosts of Co-Parent Dilemmas, Diane Dierks and Rick Voyles. Diane and Rick discuss parallel parenting and how they mediate with parents going through a divorce. They give some amazing tips on how to set boundaries and work alongside your child’s other parent, while still maintaining how you want to support your child. Rick and Diane talk about why a parenting plan is so important, not only to have in place, but also how it supports and protects the children. Tune in today to learn about different types of co-parenting and how to utilize the parenting plan to do what's best for your child.
In this episode:
[2:20] Diane introduces who she is and how she got into the co-parent support space. [4:52] Rick shares with us how he became a mediator. [6:25] Do Rick and Diane believe that co-parenting can be an easy transition? What do they typically see during their mediations? [8:29] What is parallel parenting? [13:56] How do you adjust your parenting with parallel parenting? [15:08] What do Rick and Diane advise when working with a couple as parenting coordinators? [18:53] What can you do when the co-parent isn’t cooperating? What’s the best way to set boundaries? [25:12] Why is a parenting plan so important?
Key Takeaways:
Put your arguments in perspective, are the things you are arguing about really going to matter in 10 years. And if they will matter in 10 years, then make the decision based on what’s best for your children, not just arguing because that’s what YOU wanted.
Do not get yourself in a double bind of always giving the other parent everything they want and getting nothing in return. Not only are you violating your parenting plan, but you are also setting yourself up for a risk of them using your generosity against you in the future.
Parallel parenting is when you are able to come from a place of “I am a parent, you are a parent, but we are not parents together.” Coming from this place can help you stay in your own lane and be responsible for your actions, not your co-parents actions.
Quotes:
“The only reason you walk out of there with a parenting plan is to protect the children.” - Rick Voyles
“The kids don't suffer because of lack of cooperation. They suffer because of the presence of conflict. So it's not that you need to be cooperative in order for the kids to be okay. You need to have a style in which there isn't conflict.” - Diane Dierks
Guest Bio:
Diane Dierks is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Georgia. She is Executive Director of the Center for Navigating Family Change, a non-profit that provides co-parent education and other services for the courts. She is also co-host of the podcast Co-Parent Dilemmas.
Rick Voyles is Diane's podcast co-host. He is CEO of the Center for Dispute Solutions. He is also a published author, mediator and anger management specialist.
Listeners may contact us at [email protected] or leave a voicemail on our website at www.CPDilemmas.com.
Link to free giveaway would be a download of our email protocol sample court order and workshop workbook that can be found at www.cnfc.org/documents.
The Amazon link to our new podcast companion journal is at https://www.amazon.com/Am-NON-Impossible-12-Week-Journey-Co-Parenting/dp/0974525448.
Resources:
