When a Marriage Starts to Fade

Apr 15, 2025

Navigating the Complex Journey of Marriage and Divorce with Dr. Becky Whetstone

In this powerful two-part episode of Doing Divorce Different, I had the privilege of sitting down with Dr. Becky Whetstone, a seasoned marriage and family therapist who brings both professional wisdom and lived experience to the topic of marital challenges. Together, we unpacked the emotional, often unspoken stages of a dying marriage—and what true healing looks like on the other side.

If you're navigating heartache, confusion, or just asking “What happened to us?”—this episode will meet you with compassion, clarity, and hope.

Understanding the Stages of a Dying Marriage

Dr. Becky compares the unraveling of a marriage to the slow progression of an illness. Her perspective isn’t one of fear, but of awareness—because naming what’s happening gives you the power to heal it. These are the five stages she identifies:

Disillusionment – A quiet realization that something isn’t right.
Erosion – Unhappiness solidifies into emotional distance.
Detachment – Fulfillment is sought outside the marriage.
The Final Straw – A small event becomes a turning point.
Death of the Marriage – Emotional unplugging, even before legal divorce.

💬 “The earlier we notice and name the pain,” Dr. Becky says, “the more chance we have to heal it.”

Self-Care Isn’t Optional—It’s Essential

One of the most powerful takeaways? Self-care is the gateway to clarity and growth.
Dr. Becky encourages women to stop pouring from an empty cup and begin the hard, holy work of identifying needs, setting boundaries, and tuning into what brings true peace.

When the Marriage Ends: Growth, Not Failure

Divorce is never easy—but it isn’t the end of your story. It’s the start of a new chapter.

Dr. Becky invites us to reframe divorce not as a failure but as a season of deep personal growth. Instead of shame, she encourages:

Graceful self-reflection
Clarity about future relationship desires
Emotional flexibility to adapt and evolve

Redefining the Narrative Moving Forward

Before jumping into another relationship, Dr. Becky offers this wisdom: “Spend time alone and rediscover yourself.”
It’s in the stillness that you learn who you truly are—and who you’re becoming.

Final Thoughts:

Dr. Becky Whetstone reminds us that relationships—especially the ones that end—can be sacred teachers. When we honor what they taught us, we can step forward into a future with more wisdom, more grace, and more love.