From Pain to Empowerment: A MN Divorce Coach's Guide to Healing After Abuse
Oct 26, 2023
Gathering your strength to walk away from a marriage is a difficult decision, especially when there is abuse involved. You may feel so small and insufficient, and have very low beliefs about yourself. Divorce coach Beverly Price joined me on the podcast this week, and had some truly empowering words to share. During the episode, she shared the signs and types of abuse, dug into financial abuse, and discussed how a MN divorce coach can help you through this difficult time in the most empowering way possible.
Beverly Price, Her Empowered Divorce Founder, walks clients through divorce and assists them in taking control of their lives. She has been divorced twice and is now happily married. It took digging deep and examining her self worth to recognize the patterns she was reliving through her relationships. She learned to work on herself enough to find the type of love she deserves and now she wants to help you.
My first question to Beverly was how do I recognize that someone is being abused when they come to me during mediation? She explained that there are 4 types of abuse: emotional, financial, physical and sexual. Beverly told me that there are many times that people don’t even know that they are being abused. Sometimes it takes someone to bring it to their attention. Oftentimes people don’t see it until they are going through a divorce or on the other side. Common signs that someone is being abused are:
- The person shrinks and acts from a small space
- They don’t have a voice of their own
- They don’t stand up for themselves
- They will defer to their spouse for anything when it comes to decision making or answering questions (knowledge of finances, decisions, permission, etc.)
If you are looking for more information around domestic abuse, please visit the National Domestic Abuse Hotline.
During the episode we also dug a bit into financial abuse. This is the most common type of abuse that people don’t realize they are experiencing. Financial abuse can start out as a spouse not being allowed to gather information about an account (i.e. a retirement account for their spouse, or a credit card that only one person is on the account). While it may be innocent, it can progress further into a spouse not having any knowledge about what their financial position looks like. It may be so drastic that a spouse doesn’t even have access to the finances or any money for themselves. It can also look like one spouse being “allowed” to spend money with no constraints while the other spouse’s spending is strictly controlled or limited. We see this during mediation when we are looking at dividing the assets and there is only one spouse answering all the questions. The other person has no idea what’s going on or hasn’t been allowed to access their funds and accounts.
Beverly talked about coming out on the other side of a divorce stronger than ever. Divorce can bring all sorts of clarity to you if you have surrounded yourself with positivity and you look at the divorce as an opportunity. An example of this is to look at what your ideal relationship would be vs. what the relationship is like that you are leaving. Take note of the fact that you should not settle for anything other than your ideal. Once you’ve done the work on yourself to heal, and really determined what is important to you, you’ll be able to avoid repeating your last relationship.
If you are even considering divorce, check out Her Empowered Divorce to learn more about Beverly and the services that she offers. There is a chance you’ll start working with her and realize that you just have some things to work out, and that your marriage can be saved. Or you may realize how much your identity is completely tied with your spouse. Maybe you are desiring so much more when it comes to a loving relationship. When divorce is the answer, coaching can help you do purposeful planning so that the otherwise overwhelming ride can be more manageable.
No matter what anyone has told you, whether it was an abusive family member or spouse, we hope that you can look at yourself through clear eyes and realize how deserving and amazing you are. Believe in yourself and know that you are an incredible person, and you deserve to be treated with respect. I am always available for mediation in the Minnesota area, so please book a free consultation call with me if you are interested in learning more about my services. Or, register for my FREE co-parenting masterclass!
Trigger Warning: Domestic Abuse. If you or someone you know is suffering from domestic abuse, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline for 24/7 Confidential Support: 800-799-7233
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