How A High Conflict Divorce Litigator Does Divorce Differently and Why I Still Believe a MN Divorce Mediation is the Best Approach
Feb 01, 2023
This week on Doing Divorce Different, I talked to a high-conflict divorce attorney from New York City, Lisa Zeiderman. During our conversation, Lisa explains how she and her ex-spouse managed their co-parenting relationship; and how it worked. Then we discussed why financial disclosure is essential during the divorce process.
Co-Parenting
First, I want to highlight some great reminders for parents in Minnesota who are going through mediation and how to focus on their children. To create a good co-parenting relationship, it is vital to remember that creating a united front for the child will be worth it.
There is little reason to discuss details of why divorce is happening with a child. Parents should not demean or talk negatively about the other parent to the child. When co-parenting relationships can work out this way, it allows the child to manage their relationships and typically results in positive experiences as they become adults.
Another great tip is that when creating a parenting plan, parents need to remember that a child's needs will change as they age. This allows for the ability to update the parenting plan for each child’s needs, what suits the child’s interests best, and the place they are in their lives with social activities, sports, etc. It's not the number of hours each parent gets with the child but the quality of time spent that creates strong bonds. When your child is an adult, they won’t remember how many hours they spent with each parent; they’ll remember the experiences. If you need a parenting plan connect with me or check out my online course.
FInances
Next, Lisa discusses finances! There are scenarios when one party of a divorcing couple is unwilling to disclose all the required financial information. This is when Ziederman puts on her detective hat and does some digging. When financial information is not shared a loss of trust results between the soon-to-be ex-spouses. Show up with all the required information and be upfront about it, allowing an already tricky process to go smoother. When things are hidden, that’s generally when a case needs to go to court, which increases the expenses of the divorce and creates unnecessary stress.
It was fun to learn how a high conflict divorce attorney and attorney turned mediator are similar and different. Ziederman wants to hold her clients hand through the process making things less scary, this is one of my top objectives. I appreciated the glimpse into a high conflict NY divorce process and the reminders to create a more seamless divorce and parenting plan. However, I am still a huge passionate proponent of Divorce Mediation for many reasons, here are a few:
- You design your divorce and future life
- Saves time
- Saves money
- Pride in doing it a better way
- Helps you parent better together
- Walks you through communication skills you will utilize for the rest of your life
If you need assistance walking through your finances, Savvy Ladies is an excellent free resource that pairs women with financial advisors!
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